Losing Love

I miss you , the mere thought of living without this ... this love I guess . This lust for love , I guess . The impugned thought of living without you , not sharing the same oxygen , not sharing thoughts , and laughs ; the absolute torment of having to cut you loose and start all over breaks my heart to shatters that even the world's renowned potter cannot mend and mold it back to it primal function . Abandonment is what I fear . I have no doubts that we can make it work but I doubt that you will allow the fate I presumed for myself to come to pass . Once I am gone , I fear you will confide in another . Woo her with your charms and praises . Praising her for being " the girl of your dreams " . Words you've preached to me and I followed you like the disciples did Christ . You were my voodoo priest and i was your faithful concubine . And that is my curse ; I find something good and worship it until I find myself fighting for my sanity or another's love . Or I'll recognize the love and burden it with my insecurities and skepticism.

I never imagined I could've been dreamt about . I dream all of the time , but to only give me a sense of hope to my heart desires . Does that mean I was once your heart's desire ? Was I the one thing your heart yearned for the most ? The one thing that kept you up for sleepless nights ? Or was it the lust ? I figured you've evolved far from the typical guys of my previous interest where they would love me and leave in to oblivion . No you stayed . Regardless of my life situation , you stayed . I pray God reveal your intentions to be pure . For although I opposed affection and falling so swiftly , our connection seemed odd . How it's been months and we seem unable to be untethered ? You have effected my life to a point where I cannot fathom life right now without you . I could but not without feeling the sadness , anguish , and disappointment that'll soon follow . I love you so much that even if you choose to be with someone else , I will be your number one fan and your biggest supporter as for that I already was . I want to see you succeed despite what the world tells you . When you're determined , you do what you have to do for those you love and look up to you . I know you'll be great in life if you never give up . I promise you that my love . I will forever be praying for your peace and a stable mind . I pray that my guardian angel that has been watching me for so long and protecting me from adversaries will bestow itself upon you . Am I crazy to condemn my Godly gift of protection and bestow it upon someone I knew for 3 months ? I am as crazy as it gets then . I always wondered how Romeo and Juliet could throw away everything to ensure their love will be eternal . The love I seek and long for is much greater than you and I . It is inevitable . Think of my heart as a freshly cleanse linen cloth , floating on the calm warm breezes of summer . The breeze rubs gently across your mahogany skin . Incites pleasure and relaxation . Your toes engulfed in the green pastures . The earth is warm and grounded , gives you stability and soundness . A peace of mind as you look up unto the heavens, praying this tranquility will never end . But then clouds slowly run across the sky . Diseases the heavens with gloom and gray . The wind picks up and becomes bitter and sharp . Stinging and piercing your skin . You're uncomfortable, you look around for the brief comfort you found that is now slipping from your very hands . You grabbed my linen cloth that reminds you of the time before the storm . You embrace and confide in it . For you believe that it'll grant you peace after the turn of events . The earth underneath you crumbles and the very thing you love is taken from you . Your sanity and peace of mind . You seek shelter from the storm in my cloth . Cradling in it until deemed safe for you to expose your self to the elements. The storm is over now . And your peace returns . What is left of my cloth ? It's purity sacrificed for your shelter . No other will experience its purity because it is permanently destroyed beyond recognition as if my heart has done biddings with the Devil hisself . But for the unconditional love that I yearn for ... I do not know if I can do it again